The Shopping Games

scott jpegIt won’t be long until we are all subject to the annoying political ads on every television channel with yard signs adorning every corner. Well, at least that’s not for a while. I thought I had some time before I had to deal with stupid people making promises they can’t keep. Wow, was I wrong.

Window Shoppers

My wife and I decided it was time to retire our current bedroom set and queen bed to our guest room, making way for a bigger king bed and updated furniture. How hard could it be. We both usually like to window shop, though we don’t often buy much. You could call us professional lookers, which I am sure the salespeople love. Well, I had forgotten how much I hate to deal with salespeople of any kind. Yes, I am sure there are good ones out there, but, unfortunately, the good salespeople all seemed to be on Spring break in our encounters.

suit-673697_1280Sunday Fun Day

I will give you a little insight into how much I dislike salespeople. I don’t think I am the only one who does this, but if I am in the market for a car, I will shop the lots on Sunday when car dealerships are closed here in Indiana. I can take my time and look over the inventory without the good cop, bad cop routine put on by many salespeople and their managers. I don’t need that crap. All I want to do is find a car I like and get it for the best price. When I do find a car I like, I will return to the dealership and search out the least pushy person to deal with. Once I find that diamond in the rough, we sit down to do business.

Pricing Song and Dance

We have all been there. We make our offer, only to have the salesperson disappear into some magic room to come back with a counter offer. It’s a big game… they know it and we know it. Funny how things change when you grab your coat and get ready to walk out of the dealership. Suddenly, that car can be had for a lower price and the finance manager comes sprinting into the room in an attempt to save the deal.

At one dealership, I had a car to trade and made the mistake of giving my car keys to the salesman, who, in turn, gave them to his sales manager. When I couldn’t get them to budge on the price and I attempted to leave, the sales manager jackass would not give my keys back. Eventually cooler heads prevailed and I did get my keys back, but not before the sales manager berated his salesman in front of us, calling him an idiot, etc. Needless to say, we did not buy a vehicle from that dealership.

baby-215867_640Closing Time

Well, you would think in a simple task of shopping for furniture, those childish antics would not happen, right? Wrong. Furniture and mattress salespeople aren’t quite as bad as those that pimp cars, but they are pretty damn close. Over the last couple of weeks, we have seen many different sales tactics by these furniture pushers. Oftentimes, it becomes comical and often turns into a game for my wife and I. We like to split up and lead our pursuers on wild goose chases around the store. We love to turn around quickly to see them stalking us, only to have them dive behind a day bed or slither behind a fake plant.

In most of the stores we were brave enough to enter, we were usually pounced upon almost before the door closed behind us. In one furniture store, I had enough, telling the young lady that met me at the door that I was just looking. She asked me what I was looking for. I politely told her that I didn’t want to tell her what I was looking for because she would follow me around the store. I admired her honesty when she told me that the pursuit was a requirement for her to do since her manager was watching. With that being said, I played the game, browsing the bedroom sets, sofas, and mattresses.

clown-587234_1280Enter Red Nose and Big Shoes

I had drummed up a conversation with the young lady, letting my salesperson force field switch to off. She was actually a nice young lady that had recently graduated from college (at least that’s what she told me). My wife and I let her know that we wanted to do more shopping, but we would keep her in mind. She asked if she could step away for a moment. Before we knew what was happening, her sales manager came up behind us to close the sale. The only thing this clown closed was our wallet. We felt bad, basically, walking out of the store at the point, mainly for our nice salesperson, but we don’t play that high-pressure sales game. I wish more of these places would realize that if we need you, we will come and find you. Greet us at the door and leave us alone.

After all the fun and games, we FINALLY found a bedroom set and mattress we liked and salespeople we could stomach long enough to complete the sale. Our furniture should be delivered … hang on, my phone is ringing. I will be right back.

I gotta go. Time to have some fun with a telemarketer!


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